If a sprinkling of drama did not characterize any sport then it is indeed true that it shall lose all meaning. The very fact that the players are quite prone to all the usual well-documented human failings such as adultery and deceit is what makes them so very likable. The audience understands sinners for it understands itself. But it must be admitted that Pakistan’s cricket team has, rather than incorporating a teensy bit of drama into an honest work ethic, redefined its own existence so that it centres upon drama with a little bit of cricket being played when all potential theatrical immaturities are exhausted.
Indeed, at some early point in history, Pakistan’s cricketers bade farewell to cricket and embraced the theatre with opens arms. They have now acquired such proficiency at it that the women of the subcontinent decided to abandon Indian soaps in favour of the antics of the cricketers. In effect the cricketers were able to do that which the women could not do; rid Pakistani women of the disease that is Bollywood. When Shoaib Malik and Sania Mirza decide to turn a ceremony that is traditionally meant to be a personal affair into a media circus of disgusting proportions then is Bollywood to be blamed if it can’t provide competitive entertainment? This catastrophe that has brought much embarrassment to Pakistani cricketers as well as cricket as a whole should possibly have been avoided. In the aftermath of the testosterone filled madness induced in the media due to the circus, the international sporting institutions should perhaps introduce laws that prevent inbreeding between sporting teams. When all the Shoaibs and Sanias decide to tie the knot then it brings a bad name to both tennis and cricket.
Even if our old heroes are considered, the inherent animosity between many prominent players such as Imran and Miandad - which has been characterized by many competent authorities on cricket as a classic love-hate relationship - also brings a Pakistani’s head down with shame. The schizophrenic nature of their relationship is exhibited by the fact that both of them in their respective autobiographies have criticized and applauded one another in equal measure. Wasim Akram and Waqar Younis too were out to do one another in since the beginning of their time together. However, in the field of drama our own Inzi Baby takes away the cup. This evangelical hero decided to unite the team under a single version of Islam and sought to do so in the locker room. He tried to redirect the hatred of the team from India to alcohol and drugs but sadly failed miserably in converting the team to his version of Islam and only ended up making the rest of the team avoid him like the plague. Along the way he also alienated important players such as Abdul Razzaq and Shoaib Akhtar which in retrospect is being classified as a catastrophic mistake on his part. It is therefore a matter of debate whether Shoaib calling Inzamam in the middle of the night during the series against England in 2005 to remind him of his religious obligations is really all that bad as it seems on the first hearing. The whole match-fixing fiasco is of course a grand saga in the history of Pakistan’s cricket in itself. And then comes their very own runaway bride wicketkeeper, Zulqarnain Haider.
Almost every other international cricket team has had to face some or the other drama but amongst Pakistani cricketers there is so much drama that one is left looking in vain for the cricket in the overall scheme of things. Cricket becomes an afterthought
